Bad Choices
by robertwnielsen
Summary: Caitlin and Hawke have both made a lot of bad choices recently. Can they get past their mistakes and find each other?


_Bad Choices_

_Disclaimer—_Don't own anything, as per usual.

**A/N: **First of all, thanks to Mychand for suggesting the title for this story! This is an original story (except for the title), and Hawke and Caitlin aren't together (completely) when the story begins. References are made to the S3 episode _Kingdom Come_, and to the S2 episode _The Hunted. _Enjoy—robertwnielsen

_Summary—_Caitlin and Hawke have both made a lot of bad choices recently. Can they get past their mistakes and find each other?

_How am I gonna explain this one_? Caitlin O'Shannessy thought as she considered what had happened to her recently. _Actually, what I allowed to happen to me recently, _Caitlin chided herself. She had been seduced, and then abducted by Ken Sawyer as part of a plot to use Airwolf to smuggle a batch of stolen nuclear detonators out of the country. _But that's not the worst of it,_ Caitlin thought as she remembered what happened after she and Sawyer had left the restaurant, the night before she was abducted while giving Sawyer a flying lesson.

_He was sweet talkin' me so much after we left the restaurant, that I, I brought him back to my place and, and I slept with him,_ Caitlin thought sadly. _I fell for the line of BS he was spouting—that he loved me, and wanted to be with me—hook, line, and sinker, and I slept with him. _Fortunately for Caitlin, she wasn't pregnant. They had used protection, and Caitlin had seen her doctor for a pregnancy test the morning after Hawke and Dom rescued her from the ship Sawyer had held her captive on. _So at least I don't have that to worry about, thank goodness,_ she thought as she glanced across the hangar at Stringfellow Hawke, _but how am I gonna explain this to String?_ She dreaded that conversation, knowing that if they talked about what happened with Sawyer, it might ruin whatever chances Caitlin had at starting a relationship with Hawke. _And to be honest, I'd rather be tied up on that ship with the bomb armed and ticking than have to explain what I did to String,_ Caitlin thought sadly.

_He, he'll never want me that way if he knew what I did_. _'Course, I'm not sure he really wants me that way **anyway, **but once he hears about this, he'll never give me, or give **us, **a chance. And that hurts more than anything, because of how I feel about String. Because of how much I, I love him,_ she thought sadly.She bit her lip to try to stop the tears she felt welling up in her eyes from flowing, and hoped frantically that String hadn't noticed.

_What is going on with her?_ Stringfellow Hawke thought as he glanced over at Caitlin. _She's been on pins and needles practically ever since we rescued her from Sawyer. She barely talks to me, and for her, that's extremely strange._ Hawke remembered the kiss Caitlin had given him after she walked off the ship where Sawyer had held her captive. _It didn't feel completely like a kiss of gratitude, _Hawke thought. _It felt more like the kind of kiss a woman gives a man she, she loves. Is that it? Does Cait love me?_ Hawke thought worriedly.

Not that Hawke didn't think Caitlin was an attractive woman. Far from it, in fact. _She's beautiful,_ Hawke admitted to himself. _Probably one of the most beautiful women I've ever known, to be perfectly honest. But I can't think about her that way! Not with the curse!_ Hawke felt like there was a curse on him—that anyone he loved, or _might love, _would die. But when Hawke thought about everything Caitlin had been through since she'd known him, and even things that had happened to her during her time with the Texas Highway Patrol in Pope County, he wondered if maybe he wasn't giving Caitlin O'Shannessy enough credit for her ability to defend herself.

_But who am I kidding? _Hawke thought, embarrassed. _There's no way Cait would want me that way, even without the curse._ Hawke had made some extremely bad choices with his female companions recently, probably the worst of which was Angelica Horn, but even his most recent liaison, with the Russian defector Inge Janek, probably hadn't done anything to improve Caitlin's opinion of him. _She probably thinks of me as a playboy, who can't settle down with one woman,_ he thought sadly. _And as much as I think she wants us to be together, I can't see someone like her falling for someone like me._ He glanced hesitantly across the hangar at Caitlin, and noticed her gazing back in his direction.

_What the heck are you thinkin', Stringfellow Hawke?_ Caitlin thought when she saw Hawke glance at her. She thought she saw, well, she wasn't sure _what _she thought she saw, but something seemed different to Caitlin when she looked back at Hawke. _Must be because he's not wearin' those shades of his,_ she thought. Even from this distance, Caitlin could see Hawke's steel-blue eyes as he stared back at her. _If I'm not careful, I'm gonna get **lost **in those eyes, even from this far away. _Caitlin thought sadly. _I just wish, I wish that **I **could light his eyes up, the way I've seen other women do. But who am I kidding? The Cowboys have a better chance of goin' back to the Super Bowl than Stringfellow Hawke does of settling down with one woman, especially **me.** But, I can sure dream he would._ Sighing, Caitlin averted her gaze from Hawke and went back to work.

_I've gotta do something,_ Dominic Santini thought as he observed Hawke and Caitlin, _But **what?**_ _Those two have been dancin' around their feelings practically since the day Caitlin came here lookin' for String, and I'm getting sick and tired of watchin' it. And I know Cait's got feelings for String that are more than just friendship. She as much as told me so back in Archangel's limo. _He recalled Caitlin's words when they were discussing rescuing Hawke from John Bradford Horn, and Dom declared that he would follow String's instructions and deliver Airwolf to Horn, alone.

"_Dom, don't do that to me,_" Caitlin had told him. _"I care about him, too, y'know. Probably more than you know!"_ Dom had often wondered exactly what Caitlin meant by that comment, but had never gotten up the courage to ask her about it. _Of course, I know what I **hope** she meant, _Dom thought. _I hope she meant that she loves String, even if that stubborn mule refuses to accept it, or admit how **he **feels about **her.**_ Silently, Dom watched his two friends and wondered for the millionth time if there was something he could do to help them acknowledge their feelings.

_Uh-oh,_ Hawke thought worriedly as he noticed Dom's expression. _Dom's got that look in his eyes. I sure hope to hell he's not gonna start that again. _Dom had been trying to get Hawke to see Caitlin as more than the good friend he already acknowledged her as practically since the day her plane back to Texas had been hijacked, but his efforts had met with failure at every turn. _Why Dom can't get it through his head that I'm no good for Cait is beyond me. All he's gotta do is look at everybody else in my life. Mom and Dad, Kelly, Saint John, and Gabrielle, and he'd see that if Caitlin and I got involved that way, I'd be signing her death warrant. And I care about her too much, actually, I **love **her too much, to let anything happen to her, _Hawke thought, surprised at his use of the word "love" in his thoughts as they pertained to Caitlin. _If I ever let that out, that I love Cait, Dom would never let me hear the end of it,_ Hawke anxiously thought. _But I have grown to love her, a lot more than she knows_. _Maybe it's time to tell her exactly how I feel._

_But look at the evidence, _Hawke thought again. Almost as if in answer, a voice began talking in his head, one that Hawke had been endeavoring to squash recently, especially since they had rescued Caitlin from Sawyer.

_Yeah, yeah,_ the voice said. _You think that anyone you love, or in Caitlin's case, **might **love, will die. But look at all the dangers Caitlin's been in since she met you, and survived. Not to mention what she told you Bogan's boys tried to do to her back in Texas. Doesn't that mean **anything **to you, String?_ The voice asked him.

_Ah, shut up,_ Hawke thought. _Besides, I like my life the way it is, thanks so much. I like my solitude, and the time I spend alone._

_Alone,_ the voice scoffed. _Haven't you been alone long enough? C'mon, Hawke, admit it. Sometimes you do get a little lonely for more than just the 'woman of the week,' don't you?_

_Yeah,_ Hawke thought, sighing quietly. _I do._ Just then, Dom walked over.

"Somethin' on your mind, String?" Dom asked.

"Nah," Hawke replied. "Just thinkin' about, um, some things."

"_Oh?"_ Dom asked, suddenly interested. "What sort of, _things,_ if you don't mind my asking?"

"Actually, _yes,_ I do mind that you asked," Hawke replied, his voice turning colder. "But since you did, I was thinking, about Caitlin."

_Now _Dom was _really _interested. "What _about _Caitlin?" He demanded.

"None of your business, Dom," Hawke snapped angrily.

"Sorry, String," Dom said hesitantly. "But you know how I feel about you two—" he was suddenly cut off when Hawke interrupted him.

"Yes, Dom," Hawke said, irritated. "I know all about how you feel about Caitlin and me, and how you think we belong together. And _you_ know just as well why it can't happen between us! I mean, do I really have to go through it all again for you, Dom?"

"No, String," Dom said, sighing. "You don't have to got through it all again, 'cause I've heard it so many times that I know it by heart, and I'm damned sick of hearing it. I just wish you'd listen to reason for a few minutes! What happened to your parents, and to Kelly, were both _accidents, _for Pete's sake! Nobody could've stopped them, and don't forget, _you _could've been killed too! As for Saint John, and I know you're probably gonna hate me for sayin' this, but _we don't know _what's going on with him, String! Doesn't that mean he might still be alive out there, somewhere? I don't know why you keep usin' him as part of this 'curse' you think you have when we don't know where he is, for God's sake!" Dom shouted, then suddenly realized how loud his voice had suddenly become, and he hoped Caitlin hadn't heard any of his outburst.

String felt a surge of anger at Dom for his apparent dismissal of Saint John's situation, until he thought about it for a minute. _Dom's, Dom's right about Saint John_. _We don't know where he is. Have I been denying my feelings about Cait because of something I don't know a damned thing about?_ Aloud, String said, "Okay, Dom, I'll agree with what you're sayin' about Saint John, but what about—" He stopped when Dom interrupted him again.

"If this is about Gabrielle, I've told you over and over again that Moffet was _crazy,_ String! Even if he _did _know you two were lovers, which I _highly doubt _that he did; that's not why he killed her, for God's sake! Moffet killed Gabrielle because she was an obstacle to his plans, just like Angela, the crew on that Navy destroyer, those Mirage pilots, everybody who died that day at Red Star, and anybody else Moffet might have killed, before we were able to stop him!"

"And besides," Dom continued, oblivious to the murderous glare Hawke was shooting him, "let me remind you of a couple of things. Remember how Caitlin kissed you when she got off the ship? She sure as hell didn't kiss _me_ that way, pal! And what about the look on her face when she saw you with Inge, huh? If that wasn't the expression of a _very jealous woman,_ then I guess I don't know what was! And I think I've seen enough jealous women in my time to know the expression when I see it, you know what I mean?" By now, Dom was worried that he might have pushed his best friend's younger, and more temperamental, son _just a tad _too far. He finally took notice of Hawke's expression, and that only made him more nervous.

"Dom," String began, "everything you're saying makes sense. I just wonder if I haven't screwed up any chances I might have had with Cait, with all those other women she's seen me with. For example, I _do _remember the look on her face when Cait saw me with Inge, and you might have thought Cait was jealous, but _I thought_ she was just angry." Then, the little voice from earlier started talking again. _Angry, jealous, what difference does it make anyway, Hawke?_

_Good point,_ Hawke was forced to admit, if for no other reason than to get the little voice to shut up. _And, maybe jealousy was** making** Cait angry_. _I just don't know._

_Well. There's only one way to find out, Hawke,_ the little voice said.

_Will you shut up, for Pete's sake?_ Hawke thought.

"Well?" Dom demanded. "What the heck do you think Cait would have been angry _about,_ under the circumstances?"

Sighing, Hawke shook his head at the man who had raised him, and his older brother Saint John, since their parents had died in the accident on the lake. "You're right, Dom. She was probably jealous, even though she didn't have any reason to be. I tell you what, Dom. If it'll get you off my back for a while, I promise you that I'll think about what you said. Okay?"

"You'll just _think _about what I said?" Dom echoed, somewhat sarcastically.

"I can't promise you anything more than that, Dom," Hawke said, his tone growing threatening.

"Okay, okay," Dom replied. "I know when to back off." He clapped String on the shoulder and went to find Caitlin. _Ha. '__She d__idn't have any reason to be jealous,'__ my foot_. _Cait was jealous when she was watching you with Inge because she __**loves **__you, ya dumb donkey! And I dunno why, but I get the feelin' you love her, too, String, in your own way. Now, we've just gotta get you to admit it. __And I dunno why, but I get the feelin' you'll both be a lot happier when you do._

"Hey, Cait? You got a minute?" Dom asked a short time later.

"Sure, Dom," Caitlin replied. "What's up?"

"Oh, nothin'," Dom said. "Just wonderin' if you heard any of what String and I were talkin' about a few minutes ago, that's all." _And wonderin' what you thought, if you did hear any of it_.

"Well, I didn't hear much," Caitlin replied, "but what I _did _hear kinda got my attention. And, Dom, don't get me wrong. I appreciate what you're tryin' to do. I just, I don't think it's gonna work. String'll never see me that way. Especially not after—" she cut herself off abruptly, wondering if she'd inadvertently said too much.

"'Especially not after'—_what_, Cait?" Dom demanded.

_Oops. I did say too much_. Caitlin suddenly got worried, especially when she saw Hawke out of the corner of her eye. "Um, Dom, can we go in the office? I'd rather not have this conversation out here." She glanced in Hawke's direction, and Dom understood immediately.

"Sure, sweetheart," Dom said as he and Caitlin walked back into the hangar together, and into the small office. String noticed them walking toward the office, and immediately started wondering what was going on. _What's going on that they don't want me to know about?_ He wondered as he saw Dom lock the office door behind them. _Must be pretty doggoned serious, if Dom locked the door,_ Hawke thought, suddenly worried. _What could they be talking about in there?_

"Okay, Cait," Dom said after he'd locked the door behind them and sat down at his desk. "So, what did you mean by 'especially not after' out there? 'Especially not after'—what?"

"Dom, do you remember when Sawyer and I were dating, and I actually thought he gave a damn about me? Before he kidnapped me? Didn't you ever wonder why, that night we went out to dinner, you didn't see me the next morning?"

"Well, yeah," Dom said. "String and I figured you'd had a late night of it, and had just overslept. We had no idea you were givin' that jerk a flying lesson."

"Well, Dom," Caitlin said sheepishly, "there was more to it than just the flying lesson."

"_More?"_ Dom asked, surprised. "What sort of _'more,' _if you don't mind my askin'?"

"Um, well, Sawyer and I, that is—we," Caitlin stammered, trying to get the words out.

"You—aw, no! Cait, tell me you didn't!" Dom said, suddenly making a connection. _I sure hope it's the wrong one,_ _but I don't think it is_. "You mean you, _slept _with him?"

"Yeah, Dom," Caitlin replied. "You know what a smooth talker he was, almost an artist. Well, he sweet-talked me right into bed with him after we went out to dinner, and I fell for his baloney; hook, line, and sinker. In fact, he brought me here to the hangar the next morning, so I could get it open before you guys got here, and before we went on the flying lesson; just so you and String wouldn't suspect what he was really doin'. So, that's why I doubt String'll ever want me if he ever finds out about that," Caitlin finished, tears streaming down her face.

"Cait, I—I don't know what to say," Dom said, shocked. "But, I do agree with you about Sawyer. He was an artist. A _con artist, _that is!" Caitlin forced a chuckle at Dom's play on words. _That's a polite way to describe him, Dom, _she thought.

Dom continued, "Cait, what you do when you're not workin' here ain't none of my business; but honey, why in the world did you sleep with that jerk? Wait a second. Caitlin, you're not—? And you weren't—were you?" Dom couldn't bring himself to say the last words on his mind, but Caitlin knew what he was going to say.

"No, Dom, I'm not pregnant, thank goodness," Caitlin said, and she saw Dom breathe a huge sigh of relief. "And even though I had a couple of drinks during dinner, I was stone cold sober, other than bein' completely hypnotized by that jerk and the line of BS he fed me about lovin' me, and wanting to be with me. When he left me tied up aboard that ship, though, I realized that he only did everything he did so I wouldn't say anything to you or String about what he was gonna do, and that he didn't love me at all. Heck, when I asked him about it, he looked me dead in the face and said that what we did, 'didn't mean a thing.' And that's a direct quote, mind you," Caitlin said. Dom could see how much that memory hurt Caitlin, and he nodded sympathetically._As bad as he hurt you, Cait, I think you really did love Sawyer. __Just like you loved Villers. __But __with both of them, __I wonder if it was just because String's bein' so stubborn, and not takin' a chance with you. I can see I'm gonna have to have a little chat with that boy, _Dom thought, suddenly angry.

"But, Dom," Caitlin continued, "you've gotta promise me that what we're talkin' about in here will stay between _you and me._ Not _word one _to _anybody, especially Hawke. _Promise me?"

"Yeah, Cait," Dom said, looking into her tear-stained eyes. "I promise. String won't hear a word of this." _How the heck did she know I was thinkin' about having a talk with String? __Well, so much for __that idea__,_ Dom thought. _'Cause __I sure as heck can't break Cait's confidence about this, and I won't._

"Thanks," Caitlin replied, dabbing at her eyes. "the whole thing's just so embarrassing, y'know?"

"Yeah, I do know," Dom said, glancing over Cait's shoulder. "Uh-oh. Better dry those tears as quick as you can, honey; 'cause String's headed this way."

"Okay, Dom," Caitlin replied as she furiously wiped at her eyes. "But remember what you said."

"Don't worry, Cait," Dom replied as he walked over to the office door. "My lips are sealed." He unlocked the office door just a second before Hawke would have put his own key into the lock.

"Must be a pretty serious conversation if you locked me out," Hawke said, trying to inject a little humor into the situation. "Everything okay in here?"

"Yeah," Caitlin replied. "Everything's fine, right, Dom?" she asked.

"Yeah," Dom replied as they walked out of the office. "Everything's fine." _I can't believe I just looked String in the face and lied to him,_ Dom thought sadly. _And Cait did, too. __And what's worse__ is that __I think he knows __we're__both __lyin' to him. But I told Cait I wouldn't say a word about Sawyer—and I won't. I, I just hope String'll forgive me, someday_._'Cause when he figures out that I've lied to him, and that I knew about this, he's not gonna be very happy with me._

_Uh-huh. Right. And you actually expect me to believe that?_ _Fat chance, you two. Cait's ruined makeup tells me she was crying about something, and that bugs me. Something's going on here, and I'm gonna find out what it is, _Hawke thought determinedly. _Dom doesn't just lock me out of the office for no reason._

Dom immediately got worried when he saw Hawke's expression change. _Uh-oh. I know that look. String's not gonna let this go until he figures out what's going on here. But I can't break Cait's confidence, any more than I could break String's. I'll, I'll just have to think of something._

That night when Dom took String back to his cabin, Hawke suddenly said, "What the heck were you and Cait talkin' about anyway, Dom? Looked pretty serious to me."

"It was nothing, String, like we said before," Dom replied anxiously.

"Right, Dom," Hawke said. "You really don't expect me to _believe that, _do ya? You don't just lock me out of the office like that if you're talking about 'nothing,' Dom. You never have. Not only that, but I could tell Caitlin had been crying, because her makeup was ruined. So, talk to me, Dominic. What were you and Cait talkin' about that's so secret that you can't discuss it with me, and that had Caitlin so upset?"

"String," Dom said, a little more confidently, "it's none of your business, okay?"

"Okay, Dom," Hawke said, and the rest of the flight passed in silence, and Dom finally landed on the dock at Hawke's cabin, relieved that String hadn't pressed him any further on what he and Caitlin had been talking about before. _Phew,_ Dom thought anxiously as String climbed out of the chopper. Dom quickly throttled it back up and headed back towards the hangar. _Almost let the cat outta the bag there, Cait_. _I'm __really __not sure how long I can keep quiet about this. Sooner or later, String's gonna figure it out, I know it._

As String watched Dom fly off, he wondered again what Dom and Caitlin were talking about. _It had to be something important. Dom never locks me out of the office like that. __And those tears—__I know __Cait had been crying—she doesn't just cry for no reason. It had to be somethin' real serious to upset her like that. __Well, I suppose I'll figure it out, eventually. _Sighing, he walked back into the cabin to get ready for dinner and what he hoped would be a good night's sleep.

Caitlin, meanwhile, was wrestling with her own frustrations over what had happened at the hangar that day. _'Cause I know String_. _And I know he's not gonna stop until he figures out what's been buggin' me so much lately. And I-__I'm __not sure I can handle that. 'Cause once he figures out what happened with me and Sawyer, he's never gonna want to speak to me, or do anything else with me, ever again._ She quickly finished the small dinner she'd fixed for herself, then went into her bedroom, lay down on the bed, and cried for hours, trying to cleanse as much of the hurt from her soul as she possibly could. _When String said 'Must be a pretty serious situation if you locked me out,' he didn't know __**how **__serious it was. __And I don't __**want **__him to know how serious it was. __But __there's only one way I know that he wont find out what happened. I, I __guess maybe it's time_. _Time to go, __home.__ Back to Texas._ She closed her eyes again and fell into a fitful and dreamless sleep.

The next day, Caitlin was the first to arrive at the hangar, as usual. _One of these days, I oughta show up late, just to tick String off. But, wait. There aren't gonna be that many days anymore. 'Cause I decided last night that as soon as I can, I'm goin' home. Texas home. And I __ain't__ comin' back for anything or anybody. That's, that's the only way I can keep String from findin' out what happened._ She tried to focus on getting the hangar open for business, but Hawke's face kept intruding on her thoughts. _His gorgeous face_. _What's it gonna feel like, not comin' in here and seein' his face every day? And __then there's __that smile of his. The few times I've ever seen him smile at me, it's absolutely taken my breath away, __not to mention made me weak in the knees__. Can I-can I really just up and leave here? Leave Hawke?_ _And besides, the first words outta Mom's mouth, if I do __go back home__, will probably be somethin' along the lines of '__See? __I told y__a__ so, __Caity girl__!', or somethin' to that effect. __Not to mention she'd want to fly __right the heck __back out here and beat the snot outta String for treatin' me the way he has been. __Heaven knows she's been buggin' me to come home practically since the hijacking. And I don't want to give her the satisfaction of being right. _She suddenly cut herself off as she heard a helicopter approaching, then noticed the familiar patriotic Santini Air paint job. _Dom, and Hawke,_ she thought, walking out to greet them as she had done so many days before.

As Hawke saw Caitlin walking out to greet the helicopter, he thought, _Well, here goes nothing._ He smiled as he climbed out of the helicopter, a warm, friendly smile directed at Caitlin. "Morning, Cait," Hawke said to her, startling her.

"Oh! Um, Morning, Hawke," Caitlin said, startled. _What is going on with him?_ _Hawke's never said 'good morning' to me first like that. At least, not without Dom sayin' something about it. And there's that smile again. The smile that makes me __go __absolutely weak in the knees._ Suddenly, Caitlin found herself reconsidering her plans to leave her job and go home to Texas. _Maybe—maybe I was a bit hasty_. _I mean, like I thought before they got here, I don't want to give Mom the satisfaction of bein' able to say 'See, I told ya so, Caity girl!' as soon as she sees that I came home. __'Course, __on the other hand__, if I'm wrong, my heart's gonna be shattered into a billion pieces, at least, but __doggone it, __I've gotta know one way or the other. __So I'll stay—for a while. __At least, until I can figure out what the heck is going on in String's head._

_Mission accomplished,_ Hawke thought when he noticed Dom and Caitlin's startled expressions. He'd decided before Dom came to the cabin to pick him up that he'd try to be nicer to Caitlin, or at least nicer than he'd been to her in a long time. _It can't hurt_. _And besides, I'd bet Cait will appreciate it. __At least, I hope she does._

"Okay, I want some answers, pal! Who the hell are you, and what in the hell have you done with Stringfellow Hawke?" Dom demanded later. He'd seen String—or at least, the guy who _looked, _and _sounded _like String—being nicer to Caitlin than Dom could ever recall, including buying her lunch that afternoon, and he was confused, to say the very least. "You're not actin' like yourself, buddy."

"I know, Dom," Hawke replied. "I just, think I need to be nicer to Caitlin, y'know?"

_That's what I've been tryin' to tell you!_ Dom felt himself hoping his emotions weren't apparent on his face. Aloud, he said, "Any particular reason?"

"Well, Dom, if you must know, I've been—thinkin' about what we talked about the other day," Hawke said after he carefully looked around to make sure Caitlin was nowhere within earshot. "And, you were right. We don't know what's going on with Saint John, and goodness knows, Caitlin's perfectly capable of takin' care of herself. Like she told that guy on the plane, she knows karate, and she gives free samples." _And you felt one of those free samples not long ago, String._ Hawke found himself unconsciously wincing as he remembered the bruise that Caitlin's combat boot had left on his chest for two weeks after he'd been rescued from John Bradford Horn.

"So, what's the bottom line here, String?" Dom demanded.

"The bottom line is, Dom, I'm, I'm gonna see if Cait's as interested in me as you seem to think she is. Because—and I never thought I'd say this again after Gabrielle—I think, I really think I'm in love with Cait, Dom. And unless I'm completely misinterpreting what you said Cait told you in Michael's limo, I have the feeling that she feels the same way about me. So I'm going to see if you're right about how she feels about me."

"I never thought I'd live to see this day, String!" Dom said happily, before he grabbed String in a manly hug. "And, don't you worry, String. I promise, this'll stay between you and me, buddy!"

"_What_ will stay between you and String, Dom?" came a voice from behind Dom. _Oh, no_. _How much did she hear?_

"Um, nothin', Cait," Dom said hesitantly.

"Okay, Dom, if you insist," Caitlin said, but her expression told Dom that she didn't buy what he was telling her. _I'm sorry, Cait,_ _but I'm not gonna break String's confidence any more than I'd break yours. So, it looks like I'm gonna be keepin' secrets from both of ya._

"String?" Caitlin asked a few hours later, "what were you and Dom talkin' about when I came up to you earlier?" _Especially when Dom hugged you like that, String. He doesn't do that unless he's got a real good reason,_ she thought.

"It was nothing, Cait," Hawke assured her. "I was just telling Dom about—something I decided recently, that's all."

"Okay, well, then why the big secret?" Caitlin demanded. "Whatever you decided can't be _that _important, can it, String?" Something in Hawke's expression made Caitlin wonder exactly what he was thinking of.

"I guess that depends, Cait," Hawke replied.

"Depends? On _what?_" Caitlin demanded.

"Um, nothing, Cait," Hawke said hesitantly. _Whoa. Almost said too much there, big mouth,_ Hawke thought, when he realized just _how close _he'd come to spilling the beans.

_Uh-huh. Right. If you think I buy that one, buster, then you've got another think coming!_ _I'm gonna figure out what's going on in your head if it's the last thing I do, Stringfellow Hawke! 'Cause whatever the heck you 'decided,' as you put it, made Dom happier than I've seen him in a long time. And I'm not gonna give up diggin' until I figure out what it is!_ Her mind made up, Caitlin felt an enormous sense of satisfaction combined with anticipation at finding out what Hawke had 'decided.'

_I know that look_. _She's determined she's gonna figure out what's going on with me. Well, won't she be surprised. _Then, Hawke had a thought that decidedly disturbed him. _What if I'm wrong, and she doesn't feel that way about me? What if she doesn't love me the way I think she does? I guess, I guess I'll deal with that when the time comes. _Hawke was thinking about his plans as he got ready for Dom to take him home.

"So, String. Any thoughts on how you're gonna do this?" Dom asked as they headed back towards the cabin.

"Oh, I'll be starting soon enough," Hawke said, smiling over at Dom. "And you'll know when I start, _trust me. _Just be patient, okay?"

"Okay, okay," Dom said. _String, you know that ain't gonna be easy for me!_

"Let's just say you'll know when I get things rolling," Hawke said mysteriously as the cabin came into view. By the time he'd gotten out of the helicopter, Hawke knew he'd gotten Dom's imagination working overtime. _Just be patient, Dom_. _Even though I know how tough that's gonna be for you. Everything will be obvious, soon enough, I promise._

That night as he ate, something occurred to Hawke. _Could Cait be the woman I'm supposed to be with? I mean, she, she gets me, like no other woman ever has. Including Kelly, and Gabrielle. Could I—could __**we—**__be missing out on something, wonderful, because I'm __being too __stubborn to acknowledge how I feel?_ Once again as he fell asleep, Hawke found Caitlin's face at the forefront of his thoughts. _Her beautiful face,_ Hawke thought as he felt sleep finally claim him.

**The Next Afternoon, Santini Air...**

Dom had seen a lot in his lifetime, but what he'd seen from String today had to be more than even he expected. When they'd gotten to the hangar that morning, Hawke walked right up to Caitlin and _hugged_ her, for no reason whatsoever. _Good thing the doc just told me my heart's still hittin' on all eight, or what I just saw coulda given me a heart attack! But I've gotta admit, I liked what I saw!_ And something in Caitlin's expression told Dom that _she_ had liked what Hawke had just done, too.

"What on Earth was that for, String?" Caitlin asked Hawke.

"No reason," Hawke replied. "You, you don't mind, do you?"

"Of course I don't mind," Caitlin replied. "In fact, I kinda wish you'd do that a lot more often." Dom recalled the smile Caitlin had given Hawke just then. _String, if you don't know what that smile meant, then Alan and I musta done a real crummy job teachin' you about girls!_

As the day went on, though, Dom noticed Hawke doing exactly what Caitlin had hinted at—he began touching her a lot more often, and not in a friendly way like Dom had seen happen so many times before. Hawke would walk up next to Caitlin and slide his arm around her waist for no reason, for example. The first time he did it, though, Caitlin's reaction was exactly the opposite of what Hawke had expected—she reacted like someone had just grabbed her from behind—but as soon as she realized it was Hawke's arm around her waist, she relaxed immediately and said, "Well, hello to you, too, String."

"Sorry if I startled you, Cait," String apologized. "You don't—?"

"No, I don't mind," Caitlin said, smiling up at him. "I just, wasn't expecting it, that's all. But," she said, still smiling, "I do like it." _'Like it' doesn't even begin to describe how I feel right now__,_ she thought. _I love feelin' his arm around me like this. And it makes me, want more,_ she thought, suddenly embarrassed at just _how much _more she wanted. But, Caitlin knew it would never be. In fact, she figured this might be one of the last times Hawke ever put his arm around her, once her secret came out. _'Cause it will come out, sooner or later, _she thought, _and then this'll all be over. 'Cause h__e, he'll never give me any more than this, once he finds out about Sawyer and me. __Heck, once Hawke fi__nd__s out what happened between Sawyer and me, I'll never even feel his arm around me __ever again, let alone feel him touch me any other ways, like the way, the way that I want him to._ She tried to keep her sigh from being heard, but she hadn't counted on String's super-sensitive hearing.

"Cait? You okay?" Hawke asked, suddenly concerned.

_Aw, nuts! Dang that super-hearing of Hawke's anyway!_ Caitlin thought. Aloud, she said, "It's, it's nothin', String. Just, got a lot on my mind, y'know?"

"Okay, Cait," Hawke told her. He recognized Caitlin's tone of voice. _None of your business, Hawke._ _So, _he thought, _I'll leave it alone. For now. But I'm not done worryin' about you yet, Caitlin. Not by a long shot!_

Dom had to bite his tongue to control his excitement at what he'd just seen. _Okay, I get it_. _String told me I'd know when he got things rolling, and I guess I do! __And like I thought before, I sure like what I see!_ Still, Dom couldn't help but worry about what would happen when Cait's night with Sawyer, along with String's recent indiscretions, fully came to light. _But then again, neither String nor Cait knew how the other felt. So, maybe that'll help. I sure hope so!_ Dom tried to silence the voice in his head as he went back to work.

Over the course of the next few weeks, Dom began noticing Hawke trying to spend as much time as possible with Caitlin—buying her lunch every chance he had, and always smiling—Dom remarked at one point, "That boy's been smilin' more in the last few days than he has in the last _year!_"

"I know, Dom," Caitlin said. "I just wonder who put that smile there." _And I wish to heck it was me that had done it,_ Caitlin thought sadly. _And I wonder if String knows what that smile does to me, _she thought, remembering how every time she'd seen him smile at her, she'd gone absolutely weak in the knees. Caitlin noticed Dom didn't answer her right away, and she couldn't help but recall a few weeks earlier, after Hawke and Dom had rescued Bobby Phelps and his father Robert from kidnappers, how Bobby had handed String a pencil sketch Bobby had done of String.

"_You look good smiling!"_ _Bobby said._

"_Well, y'know, Bobby, this is real good," Hawke answered him. "I just don't think I'm the 'model' type."_

"_You look good, when you smile!" Bobby insisted. And, I remember lookin' at Bobby and thinking, 'You're darned right he does, Bobby!', _Caitlin thought. Just then, she heard Dom talking again, which brought her out of her reverie.

"I dunno, sweetheart," Dom said, smiling at her. _I just lied to her again. But, I kinda have to. If I told Cait what I knew, String would never forgive me._

As she drove home that night, Caitlin's mind was buzzing with curiosity over Hawke's new attitude. _What's gotten into you, Stringfellow Hawke?_ _You're bein' charming, for maybe the first time since I've known you. And, I've gotta admit, I like it. A **lot.** And, I'm gonna do whatever I have to do to make sure that this new Stringfellow Hawke sticks around, 'cause as much as I loved him before, I think I love him even more now. But—if he finds out what happened with Ken and me, he'll probably hate me for the rest of his life. _As she tried to fall asleep that night, Caitlin felt herself growing increasingly anxious at what would happen when String finally found out about her and Sawyer. Caitlin couldn't get the picture of Hawke's face out of her mind. _He's had that light in his eyes again recently,_ she thought. _The one that, I wish I could put there. And I'd sure like to know who the heck **has **put that light in his eyes! So I could claw **hers **out, _Caitlin thought angrily as she pictured Hawke out on a date with yet another one of the women he so carelessly flaunted in front of her.

Meanwhile, at the cabin, Hawke was wondering how Caitlin felt about his change in attitude. _She seems to appreciate it,_ _but I don't know. It's like, like she's worried about something. Of course, I guess I can understand that, with everything I've done that indicates I'm **not **interested in her—at least, until recently. And when she finds out about those other women, especially Inge and Angelica, I'll bet she's not gonna want to have anything to do with me. So I'll just have to keep that a secret for as long as I possibly can. But I think it's time to put the next part of my plan into action,_ Hawke thought as he fell asleep that night.

"Where the heck is String?" Dom asked Caitlin the next afternoon.

"I dunno, Dom," Cait replied. "You sent him out after those parts at least an hour ago, didn't you?"

"Yeah. At _least,_" Dom said, suddenly growing concerned. "Well, why don't we take a little break, while we wait for him?"

"Sounds good, Dom," Caitlin replied as Dom walked into the office, and came back a moment later with two sodas, handing one to Caitlin. They sat and made small talk about where String might be for a few minutes, until Dom noticed a man carrying the biggest bouquet of roses he thought he'd ever seen in his life. "Delivery for, ah, Caitlin O'Shannessy?" the man asked.

"That's me," Caitlin said as she set down her soda and stood up. "Oh, my!" Caitlin said when she saw the bouquet. "They're beautiful." She took the flowers from the delivery man and handed them over to Dom, then quickly signed for them and gave the delivery man a nice tip. "Thank you, ma'am," he said just before he walked away.

"So, who sent you the flowers, Cait?" Dom asked, curious.

"Good question, Dom," Caitlin replied as she searched for a card. "'Cause I don't see...aha. Found it!" She said a moment later, producing the small white envelope. She opened it anxiously, but was disappointed when she found only two words printed on the small card inside: _Dinner tonight?_

"So?" Dom queried again.

"Your guess is as good as mine, Dom," Caitlin replied, handing him the small card. _But I know who I wish they were from,_ she thought sadly._And, I'll bet Dom wishes they were from String, too. But that's just dreamin,' so I shouldn't let it get me so down._

_Darn it,_ Dom thought, when he saw no signature on the card. Just then, he heard a car driving up to the hangar, and was relieved when he saw Hawke step out of the Santini Air jeep. "It's about time you got back, String!" Dom said. "I was beginning to worry!"

"Sorry, Dom," Hawke replied, handing over the boxes with the parts Dom had ordered, "but things took a little longer than I thought they would." _Ah__a__,_ String felt himself trying to mask a smile as he noticed that the flowers had arrived, _I see the reason why I __ran so __late is here already. Wonder what Cait's thinking about that?_ Hawke thought, trying to mask his emotions with the stoic expression that Cait and Dom were both so familiar with.

"Okay, String," Dom said, but his mind was racing. _String, you didn't. Or did ya?_ He knew what he was thinking would probably get him into no end of trouble with String, especially if he was wrong, but Dom couldn't deny the thoughts in his head—that _String _had been the one to send those roses to Caitlin, and that was the reason he'd been so late getting back to the hangar. _I sure hope so,_ _'cause I got a feelin' Cait's thinking, and **hoping, **the same thing. And I got another very **bad **feeling about all this. I dunno if she can take it if she's wrong, and String didn't send those flowers. _Sighing, Dom realized he'd have to wait until they closed up the hangar to see who Caitlin's new admirer was. Surprisingly, he was able to find a vase and put Caitlin's flowers in water, but something still didn't seem right to Dom. _Why isn't String upset about Cait getting flowers from a secret admirer? Unless—_Dom decided to put his thoughts aside until he had some more hard evidence, but he thought he knew what was going on—and he realized that if he was right, he couldn't be happier. _But Cait'll be even happier than I am, if what I'm thinkin' is right. But on the other hand, I don't even want to think about what's gonna happen if I'm wrong. I mean, At the very least, Cait'll quit workin' here and head back to Texas, and whether String wants to admit it or not, that'd just kill him. And if Cait leaving didn't kill him, or she didn't kill him herself, then **I **just might! 'Cause I've grown to love that little gal just like she was my daughter, and it drives me nuts the way String's been treating her. At least, until recently. Something just doesn't add up here, and I don't like it. Not one bit. But, I'll just wait and see, like Cait. It's not like I've got any other choice,_ Dom thought as he got back to work.

Caitlin's mood had decidedly soured as they closed up the hangar. _Okay, so where's the guy?_ She had figured that whoever had sent those flowers would be at the hangar to pick her up, and she was anxious about having to turn down a date in front of Dom and Hawke. _'Cause after everything that happened with that bastard Sawyer, I'm not real crazy about goin' out with anybody, unless that somebody was named Stringfellow Hawke. He's about the only person I'd go out with right now, but that's just dreamin'. I mean, I trust String with my life, just like Dom does, and I know String would never take advantage of me the way Ken did, or do any of the other things that Ken did. That's one of the reasons I, I love String so danged much. Because I know he'd never hurt me the way Ken did. But I suppose I better face reality. String doesn't, or won't, feel the same way about me that I do about him, and that's never gonna change. And the sooner I accept that, the sooner I'll be able to move on with my life, and maybe find a man who can love me, and who I can love in return._ Caitlin fought to control the wave of tears that her thoughts had generated, knowing that her date was going to be there any minute. _Wouldn't do me any good if whoever it was saw me cryin'_._ That could end this date before I even get the chance to tell him I'm not interested._

"You ready to go, String?" Dom asked. He was worried about Cait, but tried not to let his concern show too much. _Boy, I hope whoever wants to take Cait out gets here soon_. And again, Dom allowed himself to think that String had been the one to send Caitlin the flowers, and that he was trying to work up the courage to ask Caitlin out.

"Um, not yet, Dom," Hawke said, startling both Dom and Caitlin. _Take it easy, there, Dom. _Hawke was worried when he noticed Dom's expression. _And, here goes nothing. _After a few moments when Hawke was building up his courage, he turned towards Caitlin and asked, "Cait? Dinner tonight?"

Caitlin froze in her tracks as she felt her heart jump directly into her throat. _What did he say?_ She slowly turned around to see Hawke smiling at her. She swallowed hard a couple of times and finally was able to say, "What? String, are you asking me out on a _date?"_

"Yeah, Cait. I am. So, would you like to go to dinner with me tonight?" The longer she went without saying anything, the more worried she became that Hawke would just forget the whole thing. _Like hell he's gonna do that! __Even though I've gotta say 'no,' I'm sure as heck not gonna let Hawke off the hook that easily!_ Caitlin thought, finally feeling like she could answer Hawke.

"String," Caitlin began, "I'm sorry, but I can't tonight. I mean, I'd love to go out with you, but see, whoever sent me those roses is gonna be here any minute to take me out on a date, 'cause the card said—" Caitlin suddenly stopped herself as she suddenly put two and two together and realized what was happening. Or at least, what she _hoped _was happening. _Oh, my God!_ Caitlin thought excitedly. _Wait just a minute!_ _The card with the roses said 'Dinner tonight?'! _Caitlin caught herself daring to hope that String had been the one to send the roses to her, and that the words on the card were his way of asking her out on a date. _But String, he didn't! Did he? God, if you'll just please give me this one thing, I swear I'll never ask you for anything again as long as I live!_ Aloud, Caitlin said, "Wait just a doggoned minute! String, are you tellin' me that, that _you _sent me those roses? And that you want to—?" Caitlin suddenly felt her eyes flood with tears. _If I'm wrong, then I'm heading straight home to pack, and then, I'm gone,_ Caitlin thought excitedly, even as she prepared her heart for disappointment, _but somethin' tells me I'm not. _Suddenly, something Sawyer had told her when they first met crossed Caitlin's mind. '_The more you're willing to risk, the greater the reward'_._ Well,_ Caitlin thought, _I'm sure riskin' everything right now! 'Cause if String doesn't feel the way I hope he does, I'll be, I'll be absolutely destroyed! Especially after everything he's done these last few days! I hope Sawyer knew what he was talkin' about!_

"Yeah, Cait," Hawke said as he walked up to her and laid his hands on her shoulders, then moved them down to encircle her waist. "That's exactly what I'm tellin' you, Caitlin. I did, and I _do_. I did send those flowers, and I'm the one who wants to take you out tonight. There's, there's a lot I need to talk to you about, Cait," Hawke finished, as he saw Caitlin's eyes light up.

"String," Caitlin said as she slipped her arms around his neck, "Forget what I just said, okay? I'd love to go out with you tonight." She smiled up at him, hoping he could see her happiness reflected in her eyes. _Oh God, thank you! Thank you! _Caitlin thought excitedly. _I guess I have to admit, Sawyer did know what he was talking about __after all__,_ she thought. Then she saw Hawke smile at her, and just like every other time he'd smiled at her lately, Caitlin felt her knees going weak. Quickly, though, Hawke tightened his arms around her to keep her from falling. "Cait? You okay?" he asked, concerned.

"I—I'm fine, String," Cait replied. "It's just that you don't know what that smile of yours does to me. Or," she said, blushing, "at least, you _didn't know,_ until just now."

"You're right, Cait. I didn't know," Hawke replied. "And, I have to tell you, when you smile at me like that, it makes me happier than I've been in a long time, Cait. I—I want you to know that. And, I'm surprised you haven't figured it out, Cait, but you're the reason I've been smiling so much these last few days."

"I'm glad, String," Caitlin said as she smiled up at him again through tears of joy that had erupted in her eyes, and Hawke swore he felt his heart flip. _Oh, my God!_ Caitlin thought excitedly. _He, he said __**I'm **__the reason he's been smiling so much! This is better than I ever thought!_ She felt tears flood her eyes and hoped String wouldn't worry that she was upset.

"Okay," String said, then got concerned. "Cait? What's wrong?" He'd noticed the tears erupt in Caitlin's eyes, and was worried by them.

"Nothing's wrong, String," Caitlin told him, smiling. "These tears are because I'm, I'm happy. I'm happy you finally figured out your feelings about me, and that I'm the reason you're smilin' so much lately." _God, if I'm dreamin', could you do me a favor? __**Please**__ don't wake me up! This is better than I ever imagined, but I'm scared to death! Not just because of what happened between me and Sawyer, but because I'm afraid I'm dreaming!_

"Okay then," Hawke said with a relieved smile, then turned to Dom. "Dom? You okay for a while?"

"Hell yeah, I'll be okay, String. I think I can keep myself occupied 'till you get back. And if I do get bored, I can always go home and you can take a chopper up to the cabin yourself, y'know!" Dom said, grinning from ear to ear.

"Yeah, Dom," Hawke said as he slipped his arm around Caitlin's waist, and felt hers go around his. "I know. But don't worry. We won't be too long," he said as they walked out of the hangar over to the Jeep. String opened Caitlin's door for her, then walked around to the driver's side door, climbed in, and in a few moments, they were headed away from the hangar, as Dom began working on cleaning up the office. _This oughta keep me busy for a while_. _I can't believe String's finally gonna take the chance on Cait!_ _And boy, am I ever relieved to be wrong, that it was somebody else who sent those flowers, and not String. The look on Cait's face when she realized String had been the one to do that—I'll remember that expression until the day they put me in the ground,_ Dom thought.

_But, I'm still worried. 'Cause when he finds out about what happened with Cait and Sawyer, who knows what that boy of mine will do? And of course, Cait's not gonna be too happy when she finds out what happened with String and Angelica. And, String and Inge. But I suppose, I'll worry about that when—and **if—**the time comes_. Dom sighed and went back to work, even though his mind was on his two young friends and what discoveries the evening would bring.

Three hours later, Dom was beginning to think about leaving String a note and heading home, when he suddenly heard the Jeep pulling up to the hangar. He moved to a position where he could watch what was happening, but not make it obvious to Hawke and Caitlin that he was watching. He smiled as String got out of the Jeep, then walked around to Caitlin's door and opened it for her. _Just like we taught him, Alan old buddy. _Dom wiped a tear from his eye at the thought of Hawke's father, as he watched Hawke and Caitlin walking over to her car, and then Dom saw something that literally made his heart flip. String took Caitlin into his arms, and then, _he kissed her._ And not a friendly peck like Dom had seen Hawke give Caitlin a million times before. _This _kiss looked like the one from that movie set a few months ago, after the director had chewed String and Caitlin out to make the kiss more 'realistic.' _Oh, I like what I see!_ Finally, after what Dom thought was way too long, the kiss broke and Hawke and Caitlin walked over to her car. Hawke opened Caitlin's door for her, and she kissed him again quickly before she climbed into her car to head for home. Dom tried to make himself look busy as he saw String walking towards the hangar, but String smiled and said, "Forget it, Dom, we saw you watching."

"So?" Dom demanded as they climbed into the chopper. "What happened tonight?"

"Well," Hawke replied, "Caitlin and I had a long talk about our feelings tonight, and we each learned something about the other person."

"What might that be, String?" Dom asked, hoping against hope that he knew the answer.

"Simple, Dom," Hawke said, "Caitlin and I learned that we love each other. Of course, I think I had a pretty good idea how Caitlin felt, but she just didn't know how I felt, until tonight. Of course, she thought everything that was happening was a dream, but I was able to convince her that it was all real. That my feelings for her are real."

"Well, I'm certainly glad to hear that, String!" Dom said excitedly. Almost immediately, though, he remembered what Caitlin had told him about Sawyer. _I sure hope that doesn't wreck what you started tonight_. _But then again, you're not without your secrets either, String_. "Something's not good, here, String. C'mon, what's on your mind?"

"I dunno, Dom. Even after I told Cait that I loved her, she seemed, hesitant. Like she didn't believe me, or something. It doesn't make sense."

"Well, I wouldn't worry about it, String," Dominic said, knowing what was bothering Caitlin. "I'm sure she'll come around."

"I sure hope so, Dom," String said as the cabin came into view. "I sure hope so."

As Caitlin drove home after String dropped her off at the hangar, her emotions were a mixture of happiness and fear. _I mean, I'm happy as all get out that String admitted that he loves me,_ she thought as she arrived home and got ready for bed, _but I'm, I'm scared. I'm scared of how String's gonna react when he finds out about Sawyer, and what he did to me. String'll probably hate me forever after that, and I know I won't be able to handle that if it happens._ Finally, she fell asleep, and wasn't surprised to find Hawke's smiling face at the forefront of her thoughts.

Over the course of the next few weeks, Dom watched Caitlin and String growing closer every day. When String began taking Caitlin to the cabin for dinner, Dom began wondering how long it would be before they decided to take their relationship to the next level—and, the prospect suddenly had him worried sick. _'Cause Cait's gonna have to tell String about Sawyer, and that could just, kill him_. _Not to mention what it would do to their relationship. But they'll figure it out. I hope_.

A few weeks later, Hawke and Caitlin were up at his cabin having some after-dinner wine, and Hawke felt like the mood had decidedly turned romantic. As he glanced at Caitlin, admiring how the light from the fire caught both her dress and her red hair, as well as noticing her long, shapely legs, which were accentuated by the heels she wore, Hawke made a decision. He stood up from the couch and pulled Caitlin up with him, kissing her with everything he had, all the pent up emotions he'd been holding inside for so long. He felt Caitlin begin to return his passions with her own as she pressed her body tightly against his and held the kiss for as long as possible, but when she felt Hawke's hands moving up her body toward the zipper on the back of her dress, she suddenly, and forcefully, pulled away from him. "No. String, we can't. It's not that I don't want you, String, 'cause I do. Believe me, String, I want you so badly it hurts, but I, I just can't do this."

"Well, I want you the same way, and just as badly, so why not, Cait?" Hawke asked worriedly, especially after Caitlin turned her back to him. _Something's very wrong,_ Hawke thought, suddenly becoming worried again. _Just like the night I told Caitlin I loved her. What the heck is going on here?_

"Because, String," Caitlin said, not feeling confident enough to look him in the eye, "there's, there's somethin' you don't know about me, and when I tell you about it, you're probably not gonna want to have anything to do with me ever again."

"Caitlin, I don't think there's anything you could tell me that would make me feel that way about you," Hawke said as he put his hands gently on her shoulders and turned her to face him. "Please, baby, tell me what's got you so upset."

"Okay, String," Caitlin said nervously. "You asked for it." _And don't say I didn't warn ya,_ she thought anxiously as she considered how she would tell the man she loved more than anything in the world what she had done. Caitlin slipped out of his arms and walked a few steps away from him, then turned back to him and looked him in the eye. "Do you remember the night Ken took me out to dinner, before he kidnapped me?" She asked him, and saw Hawke nod affirmatively.

"Yeah, I remember, Cait," Hawke said, not sure where the conversation was headed. "I remember I felt jealous as hell watching you with Sawyer, but I couldn't bring myself to tell you how I felt. But why is that a problem now?" He asked. _Something doesn't add up here, and I don't like it, _Hawke thought.

"Well, didn't you notice something, I dunno, strange, when I wasn't at the hangar when you guys got there the next morning?" Caitlin asked him.

"No," Hawke said, more confused than ever. "I mean, Dom and I figured you'd had a late night of it, and got to the hangar just in time to open up and take Sawyer on that flying lesson. It wasn't a big deal, y'know," Hawke said, wondering why this piece of information had Caitlin so upset.

"That's what I'm tryin' to tell you, String. It _was _a big deal," Caitlin said hesitantly, her voice shaking like she could burst into tears again at any moment. "After we went out to dinner, Sawyer and I, that is, we, oh God, String! I can't even say it!" Caitlin said as she felt the tears begin flowing again, even harder than before.

Suddenly, the reason Caitlin had drawn away from him, and was hesitant to take things any further, hit Hawke like a burst of fire from Airwolf's chain guns. _Or a Hellfire missile. She doesn't have to say it—because I get it. Now it does add up—all of it. What Cait's been so worried about lately, and why she was so hesitant the night I told her how I felt about her, and then just now when I tried to take things a step further. And I understand why Cait thinks I'd never want anything to do with her ever again. Because unless I'm way off base here, she and Sawyer slept together_. "Cait, are you saying that you-you slept with Sawyer?" Hawke asked.

It took a few minutes, but finally, Caitlin felt like she'd calmed down enough to answer Hawke. "Yeah," Caitlin admitted, embarrassed. "Sawyer was such a smooth talker, String. Dom called him a con artist, actually; and Sawyer smooth-talked me right into bed with him. It, it was only that one night, String, and I'm not pregnant or anything, but I let Sawyer sweet-talk me into takin' him back to my place after dinner, and then we slept together. And the only reason he even _did _it was so that I'd keep my mouth shut, and not tell you or Dom about what he was gonna do. I mean, just before he left me tied up on that ship, I asked him about what happened, and he told me it 'didn't mean a thing.' "

"I just, I just didn't want to tell you, especially now. I mean, we're finally getting close the way I've wanted us to ever since I met you, and now that you know this, you're just gonna hate me, String, I know you will!" She turned away from him again and burst into tears, crying harder than Hawke could ever remember. _Even when she thought she'd killed me, with that antidote to Horn's brainwashing, she wasn't crying like this_. Hawke thought. _And even though I know I shouldn't, I feel like it's my fault._

_W__ell, there it is,_ Caitlin thought sadly. _I-I guess, now, I'll just wait until String tells me he's ready to take me back to the hangar, __and on the way back, I'm __gonna tell String to tell Dom I quit. __And o__nce I get back, I'm headin' straight home, packing __up my stuff__, and then I'm gone. I dunno where __I'm gonna go__ or anything like that, but I just know I've gotta get out of here and as far away from Stringfellow Hawke as I can possibly get, as fast as I can._ She fought to get her emotions under control as she glanced at Hawke, wondering what he was thinking, then turned her back to him a moment later.

Hawke's emotions had gone into a tailspin the moment Caitlin made her confession about sleeping with Sawyer, but he made sure that his anger was targeted against Sawyer, and not Caitlin. _Dammit! Now I really wish I would have gotten a chance to beat the hell out of Sawyer, instead of just blowin' him out of the sky the way I did. But I guess I shouldn't be surprised about what happened_. _Like Cait said, Sawyer was an awful smooth talker, and a great con artist. I heard it and saw it myself. And he probably would've done the same thing with any woman in Cait's position, if he thought it would help him get to me and Airwolf. Besides which, she had no idea I loved her when this happened. _Suddenly, Hawke's mind flashed to the day he'd been locked out of Dom's office, and he'd seen Cait had been crying when the door opened. _Cait must have told Dom about her and Sawyer,_ Hawke thought. _That must have been why they locked me out of the office that day, and what they've been keepin' so secret. And I can even understand why they did it—Cait was worried about how I'd react when I found out. She was probably afraid I'd never want anything else to do with her—like that could ever happen, even knowing what I do. I mean, it's not like I don't have a few secrets of my own. I—I can't hate her for what she's done, especially with some of the things I'm guilty of. What was it Mom used to tell Saint John and me? 'Don't criticize the splinter in your brother's eye, when there's a two-by-four sticking out of your own,' or somethin' like that, I think. I—I better tell her it's okay. Actually, I better tell her—everything. _Hawke took a deep breath to calm himself as he walked up behind Caitlin and placed his hands gently on her shoulders, turning her to face him.

"Go ahead, Hawke," Caitlin said through her tears. "Go ahead and tell me you hate me, and that you don't want anything to do with someone like me, after what I did. Go ahead and say it, and then you can take me back to the hangar so I can go home," she said, sobbing, as she looked hesitantly up into Hawke's eyes. _And, that'll be the last you ever see of Caitlin O'Shannessy, _she thought sadly. But instead of seeing the hatred and disgust she had expected, Caitlin was surprised to see that Hawke's eyes as they stared back at her were filled with an expression of pure, unadulterated love.

"No," Hawke said, smiling down at Caitlin.

"No?" Caitlin echoed, confused. "What do you mean, _'no,'_ String?" _He, he can't mean that he still loves me, __and still wants me__, even after what I did,_ Caitlin thought sadly. _Can he?_

"I mean 'no,' I can't tell you that I hate you, and that I don't want anything to do with you. And, I won't, because if I said that to you, I'd be lying to you. Caitlin," Hawke said, "I don't hate you because of what happened. As a matter of fact, I appreciate the fact that you were honest with me about what happened that night. You're absolutely right about Sawyer. He was a great con artist, and a real smooth talker. Heck, I heard it myself. And he probably would've done the same thing with anybody else in your position, as long as it would help him get to me and Airwolf. And besides, I doubt you would have let it happen if you'd known how I felt about you. You probably would have treated him to one of those karate kicks I've heard about, right?" Caitlin smiled nervously and nodded at him. "Right, String," she finally said. _Oh, hell yeah. At least one of 'em, _Caitlin thought. She pulled herself back into the present when she heard Hawke's voice again.

"So," Hawke said, smiling at Caitlin, "I don't hate you for what happened with Sawyer. In fact," Hawke said, his tone of voice suddenly turning nervous, "since we're making confessions here, I have something to tell you, too." _And I'm not real sure what you're going to think of **me**, when you hear what I have to say_.

"Angelica?" Caitlin asked, as she suspected what String was talking about. _After all, that's why I called 'dibs' on Angelica_. _'Cause I figured __String had__ slept with her, __and I wanted payback._

"And, Inge," Hawke said, embarrassed. "So I wouldn't blame _you _if you hated _me,_ either." Hawke said, concerned over what Caitlin would say. _Well. I finally know why she called 'dibs' on Angelica that day,_ Hawke thought. _Even though I had a feeling that was why she did it._

The silence that followed Hawke's confession made him extremely nervous. Finally, Caitlin said, "Well, I wish I could say I'm surprised, but I'm not. After all," she said, "that's why I called 'dibs' on Angelica. When I saw her walkin' out of your room at Horn's compound, she looked so—_satisfied—_like you'd slept with her, and I was, I was jealous." Hawke nodded, remembering how cold Caitlin's voice had sounded that day. _I figured as much, _he thought.

"Not to mention, that's the reason I was lookin' as angry as I was the day Michael took Inge into asylum, 'cause I figured somethin' had happened with you two, and I was jealous, just like with Angelica," Caitlin said. _Dom was right,_ Hawke thought. Hawke remembered Caitlin's expression that day, and suddenly understood the reason for it, even though he'd suspected Caitlin knew what had happened between them. _I better not let that out. If I did, Dom would never let me hear the end of it,_ Hawke thought. Aloud, he said, "I understand, Cait, and I apologize again for that. I-I know how much it hurt you, seein' me with both of them." _Especially Inge,_ Hawke thought, remembering how he'd seen Caitlin standing against the wall of the hangar, arms crossed, looking as angry as he'd ever seen her since he'd met her in Texas.

After what felt like way too much time to Hawke, Caitlin smiled up at him. "Thanks. And, I accept your apology, String. You're right—it did hurt seein' you date those other women, when I was so in love with you. But let me tell you somethin'. Daddy always taught all of us kids never to hold a grudge, especially against someone we love. And besides, like you said before, if we'd known how we feel about each other, none of these things woulda happened, right?" Caitlin waited nervously until String smiled and said, "You're right, Cait," as he took her in his arms again. "I never would've slept with either of those women if I'd known how you felt about me, just like I know that you wouldn't have slept with Sawyer if you'd known how I felt." _And, Dom and my parents taught Sinj and me the same thing, about holding grudges, _Hawke thought.

"You're right, String. So," she said, her eyes shining with love and happiness, "I forgive you for what you did in the past, especially since you were honest with me about it. It's over now, and we've both learned our lessons. And," she said, her expression turning decidedly mischievous, "if you still want me, then take me, String." She hoped the invitation in her eyes was obvious to Hawke, but was surprised when he hesitated again.

"Cait," Hawke said, causing her to get nervous for a moment, "I forgive you, too, for what happened between you and Sawyer. And like I said before, I don't hate you because of it. I guess my only question is whether or not _you _still want _me_, especially with all the, other baggage and issues I've got_._"

"Oh, for Pete's sake! String," Caitlin said impatiently, "I don't want to hear about some cockamamie curse you think you've got on yourself! Yes, what happened to your parents, and Kelly, were both tragedies, but they were accidents, for cryin' out loud! As for Gabrielle—"

"I know, Cait," Hawke interrupted. "Moffet would've killed Gabrielle even if we weren't lovers. He probably didn't even know we _were_ lovers, after all. And before you say it, as far as Saint John goes, we—we don't know where he is, so he might still be alive, out there somewhere. We just don't know. Dom and I had a long discussion about that the other day. That's what we'd been talkin' about when you walked up and asked what would stay between Dom and me," Hawke confessed. "And the _reason_ I wanted to keep it between Dom and me was because I had also told Dom that I had finally figured out how I felt about you, and I had told Dom about my plan to show you how I feel. I just didn't want _you _to know, yet." Hawke smiled at Caitlin and was rewarded when she smiled back at him. _That smile that makes me weak in the knees,_ Caitlin thought as she felt Hawke's strong arms supporting her.

"Well," Caitlin said, slipping her arms around Hawke's neck, "I have to tell you, String, your plan worked absolutely perfectly. And since you told me yours, I guess I'll go ahead and tell you mine. That day when Dom and I were locked in the office, I was telling him about what happened with Sawyer and me, and how worried I was that if you ever found out, that you'd never want anything to do with me ever again. In fact," Caitlin said, smiling shyly up at String, "In fact, Dom doesn't even know this, but I had already decided I was gonna quit workin' at the hangar and move back home to Texas to keep you from findin' out about it. That's how embarrassed I was about what happened, String." Hawke nodded his understanding as Caitlin continued, "But then when you started actin' so different—so danged _charming, _actually—I changed my mind and decided to stay until I figured out what was goin' on with you. And I'm so glad I didn't leave, 'cause it woulda been the hardest thing I've ever done, leavin' here like that. Leaving _you,_ String. It's just like Meg Ryan said in _Top Gun, _String. I am _one hundred percent, prime time, __**in love with you." **_

"And I'm just as much in love with you, Cait," Hawke said as he pulled her closer to him. "And I'm sure glad you decided not to leave, too. I love you so very much, Caitlin. And I always will, _no matter what_." He smiled down at Caitlin, and she felt her knees begin to give way again. _Just like every other time he's smiled at me like that. Thank goodness I've got String's arms around me, 'cause I don't think I trust my legs a whole lot right now. And, so much for worryin' that I'd never feel his arms around me again,_ she thought happily.Unconsciously, she tightened her arms around String and kissed him with everything she had, hoping he would finally get the message of how much she wanted him. _And he fits against me perfectly, _she thought as the kiss intensified, and the passion they each felt for the other began to unleash itself. _It's like we're made for each other_.As Caitlin felt her body mold tightly against Hawke, she suddenly felt _him _against her, and Caitlin realized that String wanted her just as much as she wanted him.

Hawke felt Caitlin's arms tighten around him, and her kiss was all the confirmation String needed of Caitlin's feelings for him. He quickly pulled them apart, then gathered Caitlin up in his arms and took her to the sleeping loft. And this time, when he reached for the zipper on the back of Caitlin's dress, she encouraged him, whispering, "_Yes! _I want you, String! Please, make love to me. _Now. Right now,_" as she unbuttoned his pants and shirt, even as she felt the heat rising from her core, and the area between her legs growing wet with desire for him.

"And I want _you, _Cait," String replied as they finished undressing one another. Once they were both naked, Hawke quickly proceeded to show Caitlin just how much he loved her, and he learned just how much she loved him in return.

"String?" Caitlin murmured happily when it was over.

"Hmm?" Hawke replied, the blood not quite having reached his brain yet.

"Thank you so much for not hating me for what happened between Sawyer and me. I've been so worried—wait, forget worried, I've been _scared to death—_about what would happen when I told you about it. I thought for sure you'd hate me, and—" Hawke interrupted her the best way he knew how, with a deep and passionate kiss.

"Caitlin," he said when he separated them, "you and I've both made some bad choices in regard to love and romance, and there's nothing we can do about them except learn from them, and move forward. I told you before, I couldn't hate you for what happened with Sawyer, especially with the mistakes that I've made. I never told you this before, but when I saw you go out with Villers, and then with Sawyer, I was, I was jealous." Hawke watched Caitlin's face for her reaction, and was surprised when she began softly laughing.

"_Now _you tell me!" she said, smiling. "String, it's okay. I dunno, sometimes I think that as much as they both used me, I was just usin' Villers and Sawyer both as substitutes—danged _poor _substitutes, I'll have you know—for the one man I thought I'd never have."

"_Really?"_ Hawke asked, even as he arched one eyebrow humorously. "And who might that be?"

"Oh, you!" Caitlin said as she leaned over and kissed him again. When she separated them, she asked, "Does _that _answer your question?"

"Yeah, Cait, it does," Hawke said, then added, "and I'm sorry I teased you like that."

"That's okay, String. Just _don't_ _ever do that again!_" Caitlin said, but the humor was obvious in her hazel eyes.

"I promise you, Cait, I'll never do that again," Hawke replied, and Caitlin simply smiled and nodded at him. "But, I need to apologize for something else. Actually, several something elses," Hawke said, and Caitlin immediately felt herself getting worried. "Caitlin," Hawke said solemnly, "I need to apologize for flaunting all those other women in front of you recently," Hawke said, and was relieved when he saw Caitlin smiling at him. "I realize, now, that I was just using those other women as poor substitutes for the one woman I really wanted, but I thought I could never have. _You,_ Caitlin O'Shannessy." Hawke watched Caitlin's face for her reaction, and wasn't surprised to see tears form in her hazel eyes.

"String," she whispered, "thank you." She paused for a moment, and when she felt her emotions settle, she continued, "And, I forgive you, String. For everything. It's all over now, like I said before, and we're here, together, just like I've always dreamed we'd be," she said, her eyes shining with the emotions she felt in her heart. "And I think you've had me since the first day I met you, String, even though it took you so long to admit it."

Hawke felt his body, and his emotions, relax at Caitlin's words. "Thanks, Cait. And hopefully, now, we can move forward _together. _That's what I want, Cait. I want us to be together. And, I promise you, Caitlin, I will _never_ let anyone get in the way of my feelings for you, _ever again._ And, as far as me hating you, that never would have happened, Cait. My mother used to tell Sinj and me all the time, 'don't criticize the splinter in your brother's eye, when there's a 2×4 sticking out of your own.' So, that's why I could never hate you, Cait. Why would I hate you for what happened with Sawyer, when I'm just as guilty in my own way?" Hawke sighed with relief when Caitlin nodded at him. _I don't deserve you, Caitlin O'Shannessy,_ Hawke thought as he contemplated the beautiful woman next to him.

"And anyway, I should be thanking you, too, for not hating me; with everything I've done, and all the stupid choices I've made since I met you. But," Hawke continued, pulling her closer to him, "at least we finally made the _right _choices." He smiled hesitantly at Caitlin and was rewarded when she smiled, nodded, and rolled in Hawke's arms to position herself underneath him again.

"Yeah, we did, String," Caitlin said as she smiled lovingly at him, all the love she felt for him visible in her hazel eyes. "We sure did. And I want us to move forward together, too. All I've ever wanted, ever since I met you, was for you to love me the same way I love you, String. And I have to confess something, too. It's about my reaction when you told me that you loved me. I hate to tell you this, String, but when you told me how you felt that night, I, I was scared."

"Scared?" Hawke asked. "Of me?"

"Sorta," Caitlin replied. "I mean, it sounds silly, but when I heard you sayin' all those wonderful things—everything I've wanted to hear from you practically since the day I met you—it scared me. I was scared what you were gonna think when you found out about Sawyer and me, and that you'd never want anything to do with me again. Anyway, String, I'm—I'm sorry," Caitlin said.

"I understand, Cait," Hawke said, "I understand why you felt the way you did, and I apologize for scaring you. And it really doesn't sound silly at all. I have to admit, I've been scared, too."

"You, scared?" Caitlin asked, incredulous. "Of what?"

"Of what you'd think when you found out about Angelica, and Inge. And just like you were with me, I was scared to death you'd never want anything to do with me ever again. But, Caitlin, I never meant to scare you, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, String," Caitlin replied, her eyes shining with love, "I do know that. And I can understand why you were scared to admit what you did. But I've gotta tell you somethin'. The fact that you were honest with me about it all just makes me love you even more than I already do. And, I'll tell you something—my daddy always said the same thing about not criticizing the splinter in your brother's eye to me, and all us kids. Guess your mom and my dad had something in common, huh?"

"Yeah, Cait," Hawke said, smiling at her. "I guess they did."

"Cait? Can I ask you something?" String asked hesitantly.

"Go ahead," she replied.

"What was that sigh about the other day?" Hawke asked. Caitlin smiled nervously and took a deep breath before she answered him.

"Well, String, it felt so good havin' your arm around me like that, and I was wishin'...wishin' for _more,_" Caitlin said, her cheeks turning a slight pink, "but I sighed like that because I felt like you'd never give me anything more than that after you found out about Sawyer. In fact, I had convinced myself that once you found out about Sawyer and me, you'd never touch me again, even just to put your arm around me. And," she said with a sexy smile as she pulled him closer in her arms, "I certainly wasn't expecting _this_ to ever happen between us!" She smiled happily when String nodded his understanding and wrapped her back in the comfort of his strong arms again.

"I understand, Cait," Hawke replied, running his fingers through her long red tresses, the way she'd always dreamed he would. "I guess we've proven that wrong, haven't we?"

"Yeah," Caitlin said, smiling. "I guess we have. Now, do me a favor?"

"Anything you want, baby," Hawke replied, smiling at her, and hoping she could see how much he loved her reflected in his steel-blue eyes, the same way he could see her love for him in her eyes.

"What I want is for you to stop talking and make me yours, Stringfellow Hawke. _Now_."

"Yes, ma'am," Hawke replied with a smile as Caitlin guided him back into her.

When it was over, as Caitlin felt String pull her body tight against his own, she felt happy tears flood her eyes. _I can't believe it,_ she thought happily as she snuggled against String's body, _but he doesn't hate me for what I've done. And I sure hope I made it clear to him that I don't hate him for what he did. 'Cause I know String wouldn't have slept with Angelica, or Inge, if he'd known how much I love him, just like I wouldn't have let Sawyer con me into sleeping with him if I'd known how much String loves me. But it's all out in the open, and we're together in spite of it. And that's the only thing that matters—that Hawke's mine, and I'm his—forever. And now, _she thought excitedly, _we can start thinking about a life together, the way I want us to be. _Caitlin stifled a giggle when a strange thought crossed her mind. _H mm. Wonder what the odds are on Dallas makin' the Super Bowl this year? 'Cause now, knowin' String loves me, I feel like anything's possible! _She couldn't believe when she'd seen String's eyes light up a few minutes ago, just before he scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the sleeping loft. _Just the way I'd always hoped they would. And I get the feelin' that won't be the last time I see that light in his eyes, either. And **I **put it there. That makes me happiest of all. And,_ she remembered something String had told her on the flight to the cabin, _he told me that **I'm **the reason he's had that light in his eyes so much recently. Guess I don't have to claw anybody's eyes out after all,_ Caitlin thought. _And I don't have to worry about String never putting his arm around me—or, doing anything else with me again—either. Because finally, we belong to each other, now, and forever. Oh, sure, it's not legal, **yet, **but that's just details. 'Cause I know, now, that I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with String._

Then she thought of something else. _Mom is gonna absolutely flip when she hears that String finally came around to our way of thinking! She'll be so happy, but not near as happy as I am. _Caitlin sighed happily as she pictured what her wedding day to String would look like, with her family and closest friends there with her._ I hope it happens, soon,_ she thought as she snuggled closer to Hawke, relishing in how she felt being in his arms, the way she'd always wanted to be. _This is what love is supposed to feel like, _Caitlin thought excitedly. _What Sawyer and I did that night, that was—just sex. He only slept with me to get me to keep my mouth shut about what he was going to do, anyway. Heck, just before he left me tied up on that ship, he told me it 'didn't mean a thing,' so I knew right then that he didn't care about me. Not like String does, anyway. What String and I did a few minutes ago, now that was making love, _Caitlin thought happily as she felt sleep claiming her. _And what makes me even happier is finally knowin' that, in spite of everything, String loves me the same way I love him. The same way I've loved him since I first saw him, and the same way I'll always love him. _

Caitlin made a decision right then as she fell asleep. _In the morning, I'm gonna tell String I want to move in here with him. 'Cause after what we just did, I don't ever want to go to sleep at night without him next to me ever again. _Then she reflected on what Hawke had told her about what his mother had told him when he and Saint John were boys. _I feel so, honored, that String shared that information with me. He hardly ever talks about his folks, except to me or Dom. I guess, I guess that should've told me how he felt. _She sighed with happiness as she made herself comfortable in the arms of the man she loved. _The man I want to spend the rest of my life with, _she thought, happier than she had been in a long time as she envisioned the day that she and Hawke would be married. _Caitlin Hawke,_ she thought happily. _It has a beautiful ring to it—and I hope String makes me his wife, real soon._

_We both made some incredibly bad choices,_ Hawke thought as he pulled Caitlin's body tight against his, _but through all of it, we still managed to find our way to each other. And what surprises me the most is that Cait doesn't hate me, even after everything I've done in the past. I guess, I guess maybe that means we're supposed to be together. And, I know Dom's been worried about what would happen when Cait and I found out about each other's secrets. But they're all out in the open now, and we're together in spite of all that. And I—I'm **happy. **For the first time since Gabrielle died, I'm honestly happy. And I think Cait's happy, too, _Hawke thought. _At least, I hope she is._

Then, he heard Caitlin sigh as she moved closer to him. _That tells me all I need to know,_ Hawke thought, a smile crossing his face. _Now I know she's happy. And, I have to admit, I'm happy, too. For the first time in a long time, I'm really happy. And, I know the reason why,_ he thought as he felt Caitlin snuggle closer to him. _Because Caitlin makes me happy,_ he thought. _And now, we don't have any more secrets, and we know we love each other. _

Hawke had to smile when he pictured Dom's face, after he heard the news. _We are going to have one helluva story to tell Dom the next time we see him,_ Hawke thought, knowing that Dom had given them the next two days off. "Just, in case," Dom had told String before he and Caitlin left for the cabin. _I'll make sure and tell Cait that in the morning. _ _And now, _Hawke thought as he relished in the feeling of holding Caitlin in his arms, _we can start planning for the future. Our future. _Hawke smiled as he found himself picturing the day that he and Caitlin exchanged wedding vows, outside on the dock. _Our future, together._

**THE END.**


End file.
